Introduction

The air was filled with love in China yesterday for “5/20” (“I Love You Day”), but the warm bubblies didn’t last long for the recipient of THIS gift below...Weibo had a FIELD DAY with this terrible present from one clueless dude.

昨天的中国充满了 520 的浪漫气氛。但是对有些女生来说, 她们的粉红泡泡并没有持续多久...让我们来看看微博热搜上分享的奇葩礼物吧!

Zuótiān de zhōngguó chōngmǎnle 520 de làngmàn qìfēn. Dànshì duì yǒuxiē nǚshēng lái shuō, tāmen de fěnhóng pào pào bìng méiyǒu chíxù duōjiǔ... Ràng wǒmen lái kàn kàn wēi bó rè sōu shàng fēnxiǎng de qípā lǐwù ba! 气氛 | qì fèn | atmosphere 浪漫 | làngmàn | romantic 奇葩 | qí pā | (slang) weirdo, literally the word means “exotic flower”

NOTE: We figure only a Chinese native or a 老外 who’s been living in China for the past 10 years would immediately get the joke below. If you understand it on your own, congrats, you can go start your own Bilibili channel now. For the rest of us, check out the vocab and explanation below.

Part 1: What did you get your girlfriend? Screenshot from dialogue between two dudes, explained below.

A： “明天 520 你送女朋友啥呀?” míngtiān wǔ èr líng nǐ sòng nǚ péngyǒu shá ya?
A: Tomorrow’s 520, what’re you getting for your girlfriend?
B：“预定的玫瑰花” Yùdìng de méiguī huā
B: I ordered some roses.
B: “你送什么呀?” Nǐ sòng shénme ya?
B: What about you?
[Photo (see next photo)] A：“钢不钢?”
“Gáng bù gáng?”
A: Is this awesome or what? B：“钢铁大直男?”
“Gāngtiě dà zhí nán?”
B: Awesome for a 'pure steel straight guy.'

Explanation

钢不钢 | gáng bù gáng

(slang) a variant of “刚不刚” (gáng bù gáng), meaning “Is this awesome or what?” This slang term (which uses the 刚 gāng character but pronounces it with the second tone) comes from 东北话 (dōng běi huà), the much-loved Northeastern Chinese dialect whose funny expressions have a knack for trickling into mainstream usage. In the dialogue above, played with the slang by replacing the original “刚” with “钢” (gāng, “steel”) because the present he prepared is a stainless steel placard.

“刚” (gáng) in its slang usage is used to describe someone (usually male) who has a strong and straightforward personality.

For example, you can refer to your local loud, joking, assertive convenience store owner as “好刚一男的 (Hǎo gáng yīnán de), or “What a “gáng” guy.” When used with positive intention, it means the person is very upright and honest. When used in a negative intention, it carries a mocking tone, meaning that person is reckless, impulsive, and arrogant.

钢铁大直男 | gāngtiě dà zhí nán

(slang) literally “big steel straight guy,” or “a guy who is straight as steel.” “直男” ( zhí nán, straight guy) has a special implication on Chinese social media. It’s used to refer to a classic straight guy who is awkward in conversation, unfashionable, unromantic, and basically doesn’t understand women at all.

Here’s a classic “钢铁大直男” move: you’re on a chilly outdoor date, your girlfriend tells you that she feels cold, and instead of giving her your jacket to wear, you stupidly say, “alright, let’s walk faster then.” Your author has personal experience with this one 😭.

Part 2: The reveal.

A steel placard, characters explained below (from top to bottom) “坚固的爱情就像不锈钢一样” Jiāngù de àiqíng jiù xiàng bùxiùgāng yīyàng jiāngù de àiqíng jiù xiàng bùxiùgāng yīyàng (A strong love is like stainless steel.) “燕沙沙” Yàn shāshā (His girlfriend’s name) “我爱你” Wǒ ài nǐ (I love you) “2021 520” èr líng èr yī wǔ èr líng (May 20, 2021) “白颖 赠” Bái yǐng zèng (From Bai Ying (his name)) Context: The above is funny b/c steel placards are typically used to display business names on office buildings in China. Top Comment #1 真正的钢铁直男是没有礼物的。Zhēnzhèng de gāngtiě zhí nán shì méiyǒu lǐwù de. Real "pure steel straight guys" don't even have a present.

Top Comment #2 999 朵玫瑰. 999 duǒ méiguī Nine hundred ninety-nine roses...

Phew, that was some funny stuff! We hope you had a good laugh and learned some Chinese along the way. Well, what did you think? We'd love to hear your feedback!